It is 9:18 a.m. and I am awake.
This is practically a record, for the summer at least: summer nights are for staying up into the wee hours, and summer days are for sleeping until noon and then deciding upon awakening whether to eat breakfast or lunch.
What happened was that I fell asleep at midnight, and then woke up at 9:18 from a nightmare about a grizzly bear massacring people first in a city, and then a team of scientists in a high school gym. Just as I was running from it, trying to get to the roof of the school, because somehow that was the only safe place, I woke up. Or rather, I became aware that I was dreaming, and that if I wanted to wake up, I could. And believe it or not, I considered staying in the nightmare. Because I wanted to see how the story ended.
Do you ever feel like that about nightmares? That while they’re terrifying and often torturous, they’re also fascinating? It’s amazing what our brains can come up with as we sleep.
The other point I want to make is that I dream about bloodthirsty bears an awful lot. Or rather, I don’t have nightmares an awful lot, but when I do, they’re often about bloodthirsty bears. Even when I was little. For whatever deeply buried, subconscious reason, bears are my bogeyman.
When I woke up from this lapse of reason, my nightstand lamp was on. I distinctly remember turning if off before I fell asleep, so I like to think that when things got particularly grim in the nightmare, I half woke up and turned it on. Just for the comfort that a bit of light provides. Either that, or some passing ghost took pity on me.