What I Learn In Statistics Class

That has little to do with statistics:

“Girls, never go to Aruba with a guy you’ve just met; they’re going to kill you.”

“It would be inappropriate for me to hug and kiss you now, but I want to.”

“What is this, a makeup brush?  Someone left it here a few years ago.  We’ve been using it as a whiteboard eraser.”

“This graph is nice, but like Mitt Romney’s tax returns, you don’t get to see the whole thing.”

“Moby Dick is the work of the devil.”

“Statistical pilgrimages are to the Guinness Brewery.”

“We knew the cake was likely contaminated.  We also knew someone had to eat it.”

“This box plot has had a bikini wax.”

“Someone-and I won’t name names-may have broken into the Science Building while intoxicated to do some statistics.”

“This was our Thanksgiving discussion: how does Let’s Make a Deal work?”

“He’s giving birth to small kittens.”

“You can tell whose frontal lobes are more developed.”

“I see no light of recognition in your eyes.”

“I was going to continue that analogy, but I decided to stop.”

(After someone asked for an extension on their midterm): “Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll tell you I’m sorry in Spanish.”

(List subject to updates until the end of the semester)


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